Emma's Mixtape

Here's a secret. Way back when I was bulimic, I weaned myself off by chewing candy bars and then spitting them into the trash. This year, I weaned myself off buying clothes by only shopping online, where I cancel the order before the transaction is ever completed. My favourite site is www.poshgirlvintage.com

It's very satisfying because there are so many links to click before you cancel (once you've selected the kind of dress eg: wedding gown or little black dress, you can then select the decade. I always start with the 50's. Sometimes I use the search system to type in 'Marilyn' because they usually have something they're saying is best described as a "Marilyn Wiggle Dress". Bastards).

Here are the two dresses I'm most lusting after. I go back to visit them every day, as if taking tea with an elderly relative. I'm also hoping that if I look at them enough, they will become mine by osmosis.

http://www.poshgirlvintage.com/1950s-strapless-black-lace-party-dress-p-500.html

http://www.poshgirlvintage.com/1950s-blue-velvet-long-gown-p-59.html

I showed this last dress to my friend Bianca who says it's not going to work on me ("You're way too short and your knockers are much too big"). But I said "If f-ing Salma Hayek can make it work, so can I". This is my answer to everything, including the mortgage crisis, the square root of twelve, and whether I will ever finish reading my Don DeLillo book.