Thursday, August 27, 2009


The Uninvited

When I was fourteen, I was fondled by a pervert on the street, and when I had to describe him to the police, everyone tried to keep a straight face as I solemnly said that he looked a lot like the singer from Bronski Beat. Tonight, when I had to give a description to the cops, because a reporter identifying himself as from The Irish Sunday Independent was well inside my property and refusing to leave, I found myself reaching into my memory and coming up with “Like a light haired Dave Gahan from Depeche Mode”. Coincidence, or do all social deviants resemble 80’s synth icons? Perhaps unusual brain wiring leads me to make these associations? "I've been burgled my Neil Tennant! And the keyboardist from Erasure is doing a poo in my driveway!"
I’m being jokey about this when, the truth is, as he volleyed a barrage of inaccuracies about an old boyfriend, photographer at his side, I had to stop myself from crying. And then I went into the bathroom and lost it with fright.
Why did it freak me out so much? Because strangers who wish me nothing good found out where I live and walked right in. Because I was in my underwear, having just got in bed for a little nap after a long days work, when I heard my name being called from someone in my garden and went out to see what was happening. Because they taint the memory of a key relationship with someone who was so loving to me and my parents. And because two men, trespassing at night on one girl’s property, is really scary, no matter how absurd the context.
Evidently, this is also the week I gave a lengthy interview to a Polish tabloid talking about a love affair that has nothing to do with my life (uh, no, no I didn’t. I, in fact, said I wasn’t going to comment.) On balance, having words put in my mouth is probably one of the least bad things that’s ever happened to a Jew in Poland, so I count myself lucky. And that’s the weird thing I come back to, even as I curse the ugliness and sleaze. If this is the worst thing that’s going on in my life today, I am in the top percentile of the luckiest people who ever lived. Even with Dave Gahan in my garden, I still am.

Ok. Now let's end on a high note:

Beware of the journalist from The Irish Daily Mail, she's the worst..she looks like Siobhan from Bananarama, when she had left to join Shakespeares Sister!!
I know you have the cats, but has someone come around so you're not on your own?

Your attitude is phenomenal by the way.
Fucking brilliant song!

Hmmm...I think that guy in the vid dented my car last week :-)
That would scare the shit out of me, someone suddenly being in my garden out of nowhere. I hope they get the guy.

Gotta love the media. Or not.
A load of fuckery is what it is.

On someone's property and not leaving when asked? That's completely out of line to invade someone's living area. A public sidewalk absolutely cannot compare to one's home.

Is it legal in your neck of the woods to toss boiling-hot water on trespassers?
What can I say? Really words fail me. I hope you're ok.
Was it necessary?
On balance, having words put in my mouth is probably one of the least bad things that’s ever happened to a Jew in Poland.
How about *boiling hot tar* with a little hint of *feather* :)

Perhaps you should get a dog to complement the cats. A Rottweiler.

The only comparable experience I've had is testifying in court and having an attorney try to twist everything I said and interrupting my responses. The 24-hour doorman and having an inaccessible window keeps the intruders out.
You're under siege girl and a Queen must defend her Palace! Time to get medieval on their sorry asses and bring on the hot tar before they start slinging themselves into your abode using a trebuchet. :\

I found this and I love it soooo much. The 80's techno pop is ok but this is great.

A song for you.
God, "having words put in my mounth is probably one of the least bad things that's ever happend to Jew in Poland" I have no words. You use argument like that talking about silly media-press Hollywood love maybe not story?
I hope You're fine now.
I think the way you are dealing with this hole situation right now is really admireable...
The Irish Sunday Independent is one of the worst newspapers of all time. It's hilariously/depressingly dreadful. And if the journalist who bothered you is the one I think it is, he's a national joke in Ireland.
MJ you're so right. It's a really tashy paper. I think I know who it was as well.Quality guy.
Clearly, what happened was indeed out of order, and I can understand how it might have freaked you out... as it would anyone. But if I'm honest; I suppose in view of the recent news surrounding your screen play it's perhaps not so unexpected someone, somewhere, would try and push for tabloid gossip. However, within the premises of your own home, no, that is not right, which is why I can't understand why you would immediately give this guy and his rag, even the slightest credence by writing about it... surely that is merely handing them the fuel to light the fire?
Not necessarily. If some media asshole pissed me off and scared the shit out of me in that way for a story, I'd put their names out there! Why not? I'd definitely vent and want them to know it was inappropriate and uncalled for.
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