Saturday, January 15, 2011


Blast from the past

So, if you've seen the Daily Mail article, which is subbed and headlined the way the Daily Mail does these things, you'll have seen a photo of me at twenty. It doesn't say the picture is almost fifteen years old - they must have just pulled it from their archive. That was the absolute worst time of my life and it's all there in my face and posture. I was so bulimic, that was really all I did, seven times a day. I'd started to get a rash on my right hand from sticking it down my throat. I'd hacked off all my hair because I was trying not to cut. It's a painful picture for me to see and I guess it has double impact because I get so caught up in words - my own and others - I forget very often, the effect pictures can have. It'd be an interesting project to frame, side by side, the photo that you think captures you at your most unhappy and the one that gets you at your happiest. Maybe wear them in a locket round your neck and make sure the happy side is always touching your heart.

Trust the Daily Mail to dig that one out. I love the photos in the Guardian and the back cover of your book, you look so beautiful.
I sometimes look back at pictures and see that I'm smiling and am amazed....because I can remember that I woke up that morning crying and wishing I wasn't there or something. It's bizarre to look back and remember how that felt now. That black and white world where I was the worst person ever born seems like a different person was in my body. I like to remember though-so that I can hopefully avoid going back there!
Sorry to state the obvious, but I do admire how you've become the woman who turns every negative into a positive. If you ever get writers block, please whizz through the paperwork needed to become a therapist. You have what a lot of them lack and can't be taught, empathy on such a large scale and a real sense of genuine compassion.

It is the Mail, though, to be fair. Spends half the time trying to find the worst in people and the other half taking pictures of Katie Holmes.
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