Sunday, March 06, 2011


In case of emergency

Whilst adapting my memoir as a movie, a visual motif I keep coming back to is the fire escape outside my old apartment. I used to use it to climb - with her permission - into my friend Teeter's living room in the next building. There's a line in my book: "In New York City a mutual fire escape is more profound than a mutual orgasm." I wonder if our friendship would've been so intense without that fire escape. I never had to use it for its stated purpose. But I did use it to watch a lot of sunrises and eat some stunning deli sandwiches and have some kisses and meditate without knowing I was meditating. NYC fire escape stories anyone?

I loved that line in your book! Made me wish I made use of my own all those years ago. When we were teenagers my big sister used our fire escape in NY to secretly talk to our upstairs neighbor (of the gorgeous male persuasion, naturally). Me? I was deathly afraid of fire escapes. I also refuse to lean on balconies at hotels or the railing on the 2nd level of my house.
I moved to NYC with romantic dreams of fire escapes (serenading the city with a rendition of "Moon River") but sadly I had to avoid my first fire escape because my roommate smoked crack there. The old woman who shares my current fire escape dries her clothes and dishes on it...def. killing the romance.
I have had your book on my shelf since January. I have been afraid to delve in to your life knowing it reflects a part of mine.
I don't know why but I took the leap today and have just finished reading it.
Thank you.

My name is Emma, I am 23, I love to write but no one will give me the chance.
I have bulimia, I cut myself and tried to end it all.
'...if you don't know who you are, or if your real self has drifted away from you with the undertow, madness at least gives you an identity.'
' can't give unconditional love to somebody who hates themselves.'
' do self destructive things and sometimes forget the difference between things that are destructive to you and things that are destructive to other people.'

I feel these lines relate to me. Your honesty and sheer bluntness is heart warming and brave.

Again, thank you.
Kind regards & best wishes
Emma McGill

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